The curly hair dictatorship

my hair runs my life

I love having curly hair. I’ve never wished for it to be straight. I didn’t have that classic middle school phase of straightening my hair. Instead, I had the curly hair phase where my hair was just frizzy and strangely straight because I didn’t know how to style it. I had an obsession with ponytails along with an addiction to having no bumps on the top, even though that is a very high standard with curls.

In high school, my friend Emi (& author of The Infinite) introduced me to the world of curly hair care. Every curly-haired girl needs a curly-haired friend.

Cantu became my holy grail. Suddenly, we were on a curly hair adventure together. Once Cantu made it through its honeymoon period (it tends to work beautifully until one day it has suddenly dried out every single follicle of your hair), Emi once again introduced me to a new product: Miss Jessie’s. I used this product in combination with a Denman brush throughout the rest of high school and into college.

I learned to use a spray bottle in order for my hair to maximize absorption of the product, and I became amazing at brush-styling and finger-coiling. I learned to plop my hair after styling so that it wouldn’t become frizzy. I bought a satin pillowcase and began to sleep with a pineapple (as discussed in An encyclopedia of girlhood). My technique was practiced and became perfect, and yet my curls still had potential. I switched to using Pattern by Tracee Ellis Ross and a Bounce Curl brush, and very recently, I got a layered haircut.

My hair is in its prime. I love it more than I ever have. And yet, it still runs my life.

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Maybe I have an issue with obsessions. I did write a whole piece about how I’m on a journey to decenter running.

But, the difference with my curly hair is that I think it will always run my life. I can’t escape it. Here’s why:

• 9/10 compliments that I have ever received from strangers have been about my hair. That could be because I have curls AND I’m a ginger, but either way, this only strengthens the curly hair dictatorship.

• After washing and styling it, it takes an eternity to dry. Yesterday, I washed my hair at 1pm, and it wasn’t completely dry until 11pm. I spent the entire day hoping that it was drying successfully (yes, I could just diffuse my hair, but I’m lazy and also don’t know how to make it look good that way).

• Because of this long process, I tend to only wash and style it once a week (typically on Sundays) but twice if necessary. So, suddenly, humidity is the enemy, I have an intense hatred towards rain, and getting my hair wet in a pool is a rarity. Also, french braids and low buns only really make appearances during the latter half of the week.

• I have very high standards for what my curls should look like, so I spend a significant amount of time disappointed about the current state of my hair and trying to figure out ways for it to look good until I wash it next. So, even if I get a whole week between washes, I am constantly thinking about what my hair looks like.

I’ve decided that the mental energy that my curly hair demands isn’t a bad thing. I’ve just committed myself to true excellence.

That was a joke. Kind of.

Anyway, gotta go! Off to make sure my hair looks perfect before I get on a Zoom.