analogies are my safety net, and they should be yours too

using comparison for confidence

If you hear the word “comparison,” what’s a saying that immediately comes to mind?

Say it with me…

“Comparison is the thief of joy”

This has been hammered into me throughout my life, but especially during my college years. I talked a little bit about this in one of my articles I published recently about my biggest takeaways from college. For the most part, I agree with this popular saying.

But, I’d like to put forth a new idea.

Comparison as an asset

A couple of years ago, I met with a sports psychologist because I was having difficulty with running due to my rollercoaster of a college career. Injuries led to fewer seasons of competition, and therefore, I found myself stuck in a rut in terms of pushing myself past my limit both in practice and races.

One day I voiced to her that yes, my mental game definitely needed some work, but also, my confidence in my ability to achieve big goals had never wavered. No matter how much difficulty I was having with the process, my deep confidence in my competency was ever-present. So therefore, when I was coming back from an injury, I would often reference my workout times in pre-injury workouts and use them to measure my success in present-day.

My sports psychologist explained how this process could be harmful if I was comparing starkly different versions of myself, but this comparison could also be a helpful tool if it was a fair one. She described how comparison is a natural human tendency, and it isn’t always necessary to fight against it. In other words, in running, comparing my current self to my old self could be a positive tool. Under the right circumstances, it could help me to become the best version of myself and then boost me into uncharted territory.

This was the first time that I had heard contradictory advice about comparison. And not only was it the first time, but I was also hearing it from a psychologist. Even better.

Staying equipped with analogies

After soaking up that piece of advice, which only applied to very unique situations, I fell back into the typical rhythm of attempting to avoid comparison in order to protect my happiness.

Until, two years later, AKA the other day, I was on my way to an onsite job interview, and I found myself solely thinking through a lens of comparison. And it was helping me.

During the lead up to the interview, my brain was functioning on cross country analogies. I would have a nervous thought or feeling, but then I would realize that I knew how to conquer them because of my mastery of race nerves.

Can every life experience just be framed as another version of a cross country race?

The night before the interview, I was thinking about how I was traveling just for this one sole purpose, which was kind of daunting. It felt like a lot of pressure.

But I know this feeling! We always used to travel for just one singular cross country race. The fact that it is one event doesn’t increase the pressure of the situation, it’s just how it goes.

POOF! First worry gone.

The morning of the interview, I woke up with a pit in my stomach.

But I know this feeling! I experienced this on every single race day for the last 13 years of my life. It just means that I care and that I’m excited.

POOF! Second worry gone.

On the drive to the office, I was feeling a little tired and yawning.

But I know this feeling! Strangely, I always yawned on race days. I learned from a teammate that it’s just a response to nerves, and it’s a way for my body to regulate itself. I’m not actually tired. I’m as ready as ever.

POOF! Third worry gone.

When I was sitting in my car outside of the building, I kind of just wanted it to be over already.

But I know this feeling! Cross country races were painful, and sometimes I just wanted them to be over before they started. Yet, I always pivoted and just thought about focusing on the present and doing my best, knowing that if I did that, I would be so proud of myself once it was over.

POOF! Fourth worry gone.

I used analogies to help myself feel control over my stress, and this coping mechanism was honestly so helpful. Job interviews and cross country race days are very different, as you’re well aware, but my nerves functioned so similarly. Comparison through my use of analogies was an asset. These analogies weren’t stealing my joy. In fact, they were instilling joy!

---

Aside from the analogies used in the context of this job interview, I frequently use one more cross country analogy in my day-to-day life.

Whenever I’m faced with anything physically challenging or painful, I always just tell myself: If I can run a cross country race, I can do anything.

The real ones get it.

Photo by James Lee on Unsplash

So, there you have it!

Comparison can be an asset. There’s no need to always villainize it.

So, let’s rewrite the story of comparison.

But, of course, don’t forget to be wary because it is definitely prone to thievery. Sayings do typically exist for a reason :)